What to do if you criticize a child
Affected by various factors, the number of adolescents and children with psychological problems is on the rise.
According to conservative estimates, at least 30 to 50 million children currently have behavioral problems.
Children’s psychological problems are mainly manifested in behavioral abnormalities and psychological abnormalities, such as ADHD, learning difficulties, depression, ignorance of interpersonal relationships, running away from home, obsession with Internet cafes, making bad friends, and even violent crime.
Psychologists believe that the increase in the number of “problem children” is a consequence of external factors.
Society, family, and school are the three main factors that cause children’s psychological problems.
Death because of a single criticism!
-Children’s Psychology: The test of flowers, which has been tested by wind and rain, is gradually expanding, but Mr. and Mrs. Qin of Qingdao will never see their daughters enter the examination room.
On the evening of March 9, a lady suddenly rushed into the emergency center of the Eighth People’s Hospital of Qingdao and shouted “Come and rescue my daughter!
“The medical staff immediately rescued for more than an hour and eventually pulled the girl back from the death line.
The writer read the third grade, the girl who should have a happy future, but because of his father’s criticism, he mad to drink half a bottle of pesticides.
The father of this girl Xiaoli (pseudonym) is Mr. Qin. According to him, Xiaoli usually studies very hard, maybe because of an exam, her academic performance has declined.
On the 9th, Xiaoli occasionally turned on the computer to play games. For the sake of learning, Mr. Qin severely criticized her for wasting time, but never expected that she would choose to die to fight her father back.
Psychologists analyze that the reasons for the children’s demise are, first, that parents’ criticisms are too harsh and they are too harsh on the children, and another reason is that the children cannot face the criticisms correctly, and they have encountered psychological barriers, and they do not know how to resolve them.
While parental teaching methods should be blamed, children’s mental health has become an unavoidable social problem. More and more children are being tortured by psychological problems that have been discovered or hidden, and when conflicts have intensified,The consequences could be disastrous.
It is understood that due to various factors, the number of children with mental disorders is currently on the rise.
According to statistics from the Department of Psychology of Qingdao Women’s and Children’s Medical and Health Care Center, 10 years ago, the number of children’s consultations in the Department of Psychology of Women’s and Children’s Medical Care Center was about 70 a month, which is just the workload for two days now;Many people, five times the previous year in 2004, there is no off-season in the hospital psychological counseling year round.
Kuang Guifang, director of the Department of Psychology of Qingdao Women’s and Children’s Medical and Health Care Center, said that the currently recognized age range of children in China is 1 to 12 years, but through improving living standards and increasing children’s psychological problems, most psychological consultations extend the age range of children to 18Under age, research shows that most of the psychological problems that occur between the ages of 12 and 18 are directly related to the age of 1 to 12.
According to her, the hospital surveyed more than 600 children between the ages of 3 and 6 and 30% of them had psychological problems.
At the same time, according to the hospital’s admissions, children with psychological problems in school age are the largest, accounting for 80% of the total number of doctors, and preschool children are gradually increasing.
According to conservative estimates, at least 30 to 50 million children currently have behavioral problems.
They are mainly manifested as behavioral abnormalities and psychological abnormalities, such as ADHD, learning difficulties, depression, maladjustment, ignorance of interpersonal relationships, running away from home, obsession with internet cafes, truancy, premature sexual behavior, making bad friends, and even violent crime, etc., ifWithout effective intervention at an early stage and letting it develop, it may lead to maladaptation in adulthood, crimes and mental illness.
Experts believe that: the external factors are the children’s psychological problems in the kindergarten of Quebec. A 6-year-old boy caught a genital injury of a 5-year-old girl in the same class as a result of reading bad information on the Internet;I always suspect that the gas valve at home is not closed properly. After seeing the psychologist, the parents understand that the child’s excessive pursuit of security is because every time the child plays the wrong piano, the mother will slap and the child’s heart is always shrouded in fear;A 12-year-old girl who had lived with her stepdad for many years suddenly fell in love. What puzzled her parents was that she was a particularly well-behaved child at home. Psychologists solved the mystery. Because of the fear that her stepdad did not like her, she faced her fromShe dare not coquettish, but this pressure restraint made her never realize the care of the opposite sex . Wang Guanjun, an associate professor of psychology at Qingdao University School of Medicine and vice president of the Qingdao Psychological Counselors Association, pointed out that the increase in the number of “problem children” is an external factor.Caused.
Society, family, and school are the three main factors that cause children’s psychological problems.
Wang Guanjun said that children’s psychological conditions are easily affected by external environmental factors. In the process of children’s growth, bad social information is the main cause of children’s psychological unhealthy, such as the rapid development of transformation technology. Children spend every day on computers, televisions, and VCDs.More and more time.
Excessive exposure to movies, computer games, and the Internet has led to a marked decline in academic performance, and even absenteeism and truancy. At the same time, some children also show some obvious personality defects, such as irritability, jealousy, waywardness, and narrowness.
In fact, family factors are especially so.
The idea of “looking at the child and becoming the dragon and looking at the woman into the phoenix” has made some parents often ignore the differences in their children’s personality and force them to constantly learn about various things. Instead, they have rebellious psychology and lose confidence and interest in learning.
The increase in the number of marriage breakdowns is another family cause of psychological problems in children.
The loss of parental care has become an abandonment or even a punching bag for both parties. The child develops into a psychological disorder, even a psychological abnormality, and a distorted spirit due to excessive depression.
In addition, most schools are still exam-oriented education. In order to improve the rate of enrollment, students adopt the tactics of sea. Students use heroes to test success or failure. One-sided recognition of students ‘intellectual development goes beyond the cultivation of emotional quotient, which has helped fuel the development of children ‘s psychological abnormalities.Cause children to face frustration and do not know how to face it, can not turn stress into motivation, so that extreme behavior occurs.
Kuang Guifang, director of the Department of Psychology of Qingdao Women’s and Children’s Medical and Health Care Center, reminded that children’s temperament can be divided into two types: easy-to-raise, slow to intermediate, and difficult-to-raise.
Easy-to-raise children are naturally good-naughty, have more positive emotions, and adapt quickly; middle-slow children have slow adaptability, patience, and psychological changes are not easy to detect; hard-to-raise children are crying and persistent.
Compared with the ratio of easy maintenance, the psychology of intermediate and difficult maintenance is more fragile and more susceptible to problems caused by external factors.
”In the name of love”-Children’s psychological problems are exposed to family education. Crisis psychologists point out that family education is the most important factor in the education of children, and the current wrong education concept of some families has become an indispensable cause of children’s psychological problems.Ignored factors, especially family education in the name of “love”.
Xiao Ming (pseudonym), a sixth grader in a primary school in Qingdao, always runs away from home, and his family is distressed.
Not long ago, an unexplained father brought his children to a department of psychology in a hospital.
The words of the doctor, the child and the parents awakened the confused parents.
Father: “Doctor, see if there is something wrong with this child’s brain. Run away from home at every turn. There is nothing I can do with his mother!Doctor: “How is your relationship with your child?”
I have fought this child since he was born!
This child is very stingy. When I was stingy, I would sting him and fight him for 12 years. Now I ca n’t fight him!
Doctor: “Why run away from home?”
Do you know if dad is worried?
“Child:” He didn’t worry about me, he hit me when I had memory!
I hate my dad!
“Doctor:” Why beat a child?
“Father:” I think this child has a lot of bad problems. I worry that he will fail to learn in the future, and he can’t become a master!
“Child:” I asked my classmates, my parents of good friends never hit them, only I was beaten at home every day!
“Dad:” Recently, I also felt that he hated me, so I dared not hit him. I wanted to talk to him, but he didn’t listen to me anymore.
“Doctor:” Parents discipline their children out of responsibility, but many people take the wrong approach. Children do n’t understand why dad hits him. Although the parents are responsible, the child feels that the family cannot bear him.He didn’t even get the approval of his family and could not enjoy the warmth of this family, so he went away again and again.
The psychiatrist told reporters that there are too many similar situations, and the wrong way of family education may lead to psychological deviations in children.
Many parents have the concepts of “filial piety under a stick”, “not playing without a stick”, and “trees hitting the natural straight”. In fact, parents love children very much, but stick-style parenting methods actually hurt childrenEverything is in the name of love, but the result of love produces hate.
At the same time, the opposite way of education, that is, parents do not love children in principle, Bai Yi Bai Shun is another cause of children’s behavior problems, so family education is appropriate to go to either extreme.
Associate Professor of Psychology of Qingdao University School of Medicine and Vice President of Qingdao Psychological Counselors Association believes that among educational, stern and laissez-faire education methods, the incidence of psychological problems among children in educational families is the lowest.
However, due to the lack of knowledge of children’s mental health education by most parents, and even the children’s behavioral thinking appears obvious signs, parents often fail to detect or cause sufficient awareness in a timely manner.
Wang Guanjun believes that in family education, parents should try their best to strengthen communication and exchanges with their children, create a harmonious family atmosphere, master the standard of education, and avoid children’s psychological “nutrition” or “excessive nutrition”.
Working together to make children have a “beautiful mind” Psychologists point out that children must first be adults. In today’s society, high-level competition is the competition of psychological quality.
The acquired relationship between a person’s acquired behavior and the mental health of childhood, so that children can have a “beautiful heart” requires the concerted efforts of the entire society.
Childhood is an important period in the process of individual development. It is a period of life foundation. In order to cultivate children’s very healthy personality and good social adaptability, and promote the coordinated development of children’s physiology, we must pay attention to children’s physical health, and more importantly,It is to understand the mental health of children.
Education experts point out that educating children is not a spoiled child.
If you are really “afraid of being in your mouth and afraid of falling out of your hands”, the children you educate are bound to be arrogant, selfish, or overly dependent, with no ambition.
However, educating children cannot take too strict discipline.
At every turn, scolding and scolding, and adding evil words, will inevitably hurt the child’s self-esteem and limit the development of children’s independence and creativity.
Educating children must have a sense of appropriateness and importance.
At the same time, family education must also achieve unified thinking and requirements among family members, even if there are differences, children can be made victims.
Children are like new seedlings unearthed, and they are carefully expanded and watered to grow into a pillar.
As parents and teachers of the gardener, it is necessary to master certain knowledge and methods of proper child rearing.
Children before school age, living at home, have a narrow range of interactions and few objects. Parents and loved ones mostly care and tolerate their children. After entering school, the range and objects of children’s interactions are expanding and complicated.Recognizing is another environment.
Parents and teachers must cooperate closely and support each other to explain the problems in children’s learning and life selectively in order to obtain a good educational effect.
In addition, in response to the psychological problems that have emerged in school students, the school has established psychological teachers and counseling rooms to disperse and guide children, so that children can talk to them, share children’s joy and distress, and eliminate the problem in its budding state.It’s a good thing that works.
Government departments should also incorporate mental health work into national economic and social development plans, and gradually equip all colleges, universities, and primary and secondary schools with trained psychological teachers to transform them into alternative courses for mental health education.
Speed up the training of mental health professionals in order to vigorously disseminate mental health knowledge and increase the level of awareness of children’s mental health in the entire society.
Children’s mental health sets up a “protective net” on three sides every Friday and Friday afternoon. As soon as the bell of the second class rang, the children of Qingdao Guizhou Road Primary School flocked into the classroom waiting for mental health education.Activity Course.
Each class in the class will carry out activities with different themes: “Blasting of merit”, where everyone concentrates on the strengths of each classmate; “role-playing”, students calmly analyze how to eliminate the troubles in their hearts; sketch script “Social fear conference consultation”In middle school, every student is a doctor and prescribes .
It is understood that Guizhou Road Primary School was one of the early schools in Qingdao that provided psychological courses. In response to the psychological problems exposed by elementary and middle school students at the schooling stage, the Qingdao Education Department requires that schools provide psychological courses, counseling rooms and psychological teachers for parents.Establishing a “parent school” preaching group and other measures set up a three-sided “protection net” for children’s mental health in Qingdao.
Guizhou Road Primary School is located in the westernmost part of the southern district of Qingdao. The school district is composed of ordinary workers and migrant merchants. The parents ‘cultural level is generally low. Most parents of the school work hard for their livelihood.Some of them were left to the care of the elderly, and some were let go.As a result, the child’s psychological imbalance is caused, and this phenomenon becomes more and more serious with age.
According to Li Yi, a professor at this elementary school, the school conducted psychological health tests on students in grades 4 to 6, and the results showed that 166 of the 661 children tested had psychological problems, accounting for 25 of the total.
11%, prominently manifested in not knowing how to get along with friends, tired of learning, and conflict with parents’ emotions.
Shao Lan, a language and psychological teacher at Guizhou Road Primary School, told reporters that since 1997, Guizhou Road Primary School has begun to divide students’ mental health education into some ideological and moral education. The head teachers of each class of the school also serve as psychological counselors and hire QingdaoA professor of psychology at the School of Education is responsible for children’s mental health research.
The “mental health counselling center” and “whispering corner” specially set up by the school have become places for children to talk to each other or their teachers.
Last year, the school took the lead in compiling a professional textbook for children’s mental health-“Navigation of the Heart” in Qingdao, which became a fun mental health education activity class by approaching children’s lives to achieve the purpose of preventing psychological problems.
According to the latest statistics from the school, the proportion of “problem students” in this school has decreased by about 9% over the past 8 years.
Nowadays, children’s mental health education has also “opened up” in Qingdao. Su Wenjie, deputy director of the Basic Education Department of the Qingdao Education Bureau, said that like Guizhou Road Primary School, half of the primary and middle schools in Qingdao have opened school-based courses on mental health education.In Qingdao, there are schools with full-time and part-time psychological counseling teachers and psychological counseling rooms, which have grown from several in 2001 to all schools in 2004. Among them, schools with full-time psychological counseling teachers accounted for half of the total. Some schools even have teachers.There are more than two full-time psychological teachers in the case of a tight schedule.
At the same time, in order to extend children’s mental health education to society, since 1998, the Qingdao Education Department has also formed a “Parent School” lecturer group to make children’s schools become parents’ schools. The lecturer group hired university professors and retired.Basically, 20 teachers, including psychologists, teach classes to students’ parents in various schools, so that adults also know how to properly educate children.
At present, more than 1,300 primary and secondary schools in Qingdao have become parent schools.
News link: Six psychological qualities should be adopted for children’s mental health. It is understood that there is no unified measurement standard for whether people’s mental health is healthy.
According to the characteristics of psychological activity of adolescent children each year, they should reach the following six mental qualities to achieve mental health.
First, mental development is normal.
Normal development of intelligence means that the level of personal intelligence development is commensurate with actual age, and is one of the important signs of mental health.
IQ above 80 points is normal intelligence, IQ below 70 points is mental retardation, and intellectual development lags behind actual age is a mental developmental abnormality, often accompanied by low adaptive ability, is one of the primary reasons for children’s learning difficulties.
Second, stable emotions.
Mental health adolescents have an advantage in positive emotional experiences such as optimism and satisfaction.
Although negative emotions such as sorrow, suspicion, failure, and frustration may also appear, they will not last long. They can properly express and control their emotions and keep them relatively stable.
Third, you can know yourself correctly.
Have a good understanding of yourself, know the value of your existence, feel satisfied with yourself, and work hard to make yourself better.
We can carry forward our own strengths, fully understand our own shortcomings, and consciously work to overcome them.
He has his own ideals and is full of confidence in the future. He has made new achievements in all aspects of study and work.
Fourth, have good interpersonal relationships.
Children and adolescents with mental health have positive and good interpersonal relationships.
Respect others, understand others, be good at learning their strengths and make up for their weaknesses, and be able to get along with others with a friendly and tolerant attitude.
They can be sincere and candid in front of others, so they can easily gain the trust of others, and build harmonious interpersonal relationships.
Prestige is high in the group, and life is fulfilling. They are classmates’ confidants.
Fifth, stable and coordinated personality.
Personality is also called personality. Personality is expressed as a person’s entire mental appearance.
Mental health people have a sound “self”, have a correct understanding of themselves, can objectively evaluate themselves, and can effectively control and adjust their personality tendency and personality psychological characteristics.
The basic characteristics of a healthy personality are: a relatively stable emotional state, tenacity, perseverance, flexibility, strong sense of responsibility and good self-control.
Six, love life.
Mental health people love life, can deeply feel the beauty of life and the joy of life, and actively look forward to a bright future.
We can give full play to our potential in life, and we will not lose confidence in life because of encountering setbacks and failures.
Able to correctly cope with real difficulties, timely adjust their thinking methods and behavioral strategies to adapt to different social environments.